Blogging because..

I've journaled a frightening amount of 30 pages, front and back.. in the past 7 days. That's 60 pages of my thoughts you guys..and terrifying. I keep thinking, eventually I have to run out of things to write about, right? Wrong. I've already breezed through 4 pages, and it isn't even 10am yet. Here at work, it's just me and my wandering mind. Sometimes, I'm blessed enough to be interrupted by a ringing phone.. Hence, I'm giving my poor little journal a break, and quenching my thirst to write elsewhere; lest I fill an entire journal in a single month. (Not that it hasn't happened before.)

I've been listening to this song a lot lately.

It came on my Pandora worship station a month or so ago, and I've been hooked ever since.

The times you doubt me, when you can't feel.

The times that you question, "Is this for real?"

The times you're broken, the times that you mend.

The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.

Well my love is over, it's underneath.

It's inside, it's in between.

These times that you're healing, and when your heart breaks.

The times that you feel like you've fallen from grace.

The times you're hurting, the times that you heal.

The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.

The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.

I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.

I'm there through your heartache. I'm there in the storm.

My love will keep you, by my power alone.

I don't care where you fall, where you have been.

I'll never forsake you, my love never ends.

It never ends.

Here's another little encouragement for you guys from the book, "Jesus Calling."

"Relax in my peaceful presence. Do not bring performance pressures into our sacred space of communion. When you are with someone you trust completely, you feel free to be yourself. This is one of the joys of true friendship. Though I am the Lord of lords and King of kings, I also desire to be your intimate Friend. When you are tense or pretentious in our relationship, I feel hurt. I know the worst about you, but I also see the best in you. I long for you to trust me enough to be fully yourself with me. When you are real with me, I am able to bring out the best in you: the very gifts I have planted in your soul. Relax, and enjoy our friendship."

When I read that this morning, I felt both comforted and convicted. How often do we seek intimate friendship here on Earth, thinking it can bring a form of satisfaction that Christ can not? I know I'm more than involved in that guilty party. I found incredible comfort though, at the realization that He wants to know me intimately. It's within our human nature, especially us women, to desire deep and intimate friendship. I want it, and I want it bad. Good news is, He just as badly wants to give it to me. I want to see Him, to sit close with Him, to have Him look straight into my eyes and know the deepest parts of who I am- all the while staring back into His eyes, amazed. But I can't- not in the traditional sense at least. It's our natural tendency to seek after something we can see.

Something tangible.

Though it takes more intentionality, I'm having to learn that God wants to be seen by me. He wants to take my breath away, and smile at my awed reaction. He shows Himself to me daily, through the wind in the trees or the color of the sky. He meets me closely, sits with me, as I'm driving in the car talking to Him like a mad woman. And all the while, He's looking not just into my eyes, but straight into my soul, knowing me more deeply or intimately than humanly possible. I can bare my soul to Christ without even having to try, so I wonder what levels of joy and peace can be found when I AM intentional in my transparency towards Him? I want to be truly known, and He wants to know me. Oh the irony in our human struggles. All the things we long for, he has the ability to give in their purest form! We're a doubtful and unbelieving people.

So God, this is me saying that I do believe.

I believe you are the ultimate Friend.

I believe you are the ultimate Healer. 

I believe you are the ultimate Comforter.

"I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"(Mark 9:24)

Until next time,

-Hales