Wrapping up another semester..

& I am so blown away by the things I've seen God do.
But then again, what's new?
I've found myself in such a consistently great state, and am amazed by the way God brought me to this place. It's simple really. He said,
"Stop. Stop doing and striving.
Give up control, and just rest in My presence.
Just be Haley."
Peggy told me I needed to trust more in His ability to lead than my ability to follow. If I wasn't close to my tattoo limit, I'd get those words inked across my forehead. They've done a force of good in my life lately. I honestly walked into her office that first June afternoon like a pile of broken dreams, unaware of the freedom available to those who are willing to surrender. I believed, with everything in me, that God desired me to hurt inside the way that I did. I believed, with my whole being, that a crippled captive is what I would always be. True freedom would always be just beyond my grasp. Thorn in my flesh, right? False time one thousand. Freedom in attainable, and within reach.
I found it.
No, I take that back.
He gave it to me.
I couldn't tell you "how I did it" even if I wanted to. Because, really, I wish I could give you a list of 6 six steps from a self-help book. Trust me, if I could, I would. But there is no book, and there are no steps. It's just a lot of praying, and choosing to not plan anymore.
You want freedom? Here's the answer. Give up & Stop trying.
It's a pride issue, really, at the very root and core. We think we know better, can do better, and need to understand better; All of which are false. A lie from the pit of hell, which traps us. It's a good time being trapped in captivity. Just dandy & swell. ;)
That's also a lie. It's horrid. Captivity is no walk in the park.
So, I gave Satan the finger,(in the sweetest and most Christian way possible) and decided to start believing Truth for a change. Truth has power you guys. It has the power to set us FREE.
I began this semester, a mere 3 and a half months ago, on the lip of a large hole I'd just been pulled out of. Running from lies of size, food, and the need for a man. I was running, and not looking back. Do I seem like the type of girl who wants to be turned into a pillar of salt? I chose to believe that God had the power to keep those things in my past behind me. There was no need to give Satan a foothold by glancing back at prison. Freedom was before me, and by God's power alone, I was going to make it there.

Freshmen Survival 2013

So Fall semester started, and as always, we brought in the new school year with Freshmen Survival. Anyone who k
nows what the beginning of college was like for me, knows Survival is a big deal in my eyes. For me, Freshmen Survival was the moment God yanked my backslidden butt out of the darkness and back into the light. That's why I love Survival, because there's no telling what kind of kids are in that crowd, or how hearing the Truth could turn their life around. ANYWAYS, for the second year in a row, I was a Community Group leader, which meant I would be leading a Survival group with this guy Tyler. It also meant we'd be forced to take this awfully awkward picture together:

Say, "Awkward!"

I'm the Freshmen Ministry team leader, which means Survival is kinda my thing. Not just because I love it, but because it's my job. Therefor, I was in all of the skits, led a Break out Session on "Getting along with your roommates," & led a Survival Group. I also help lead worship at the BCM, which meant when I wasn't running like a chicken with my head cut off, overseeing things, I was on stage singing. I love Survival, but it was a pretty stressful day this year.
Fun Fact:
When this picture was taken, I was struggling so badly with my singleness, that I cried as soon as Survival ended. I don't mean struggling as in typical girl struggle, but a full on obsessive unhealthy OCD Haley struggle. A comment simply hinting at something between the guy and I, from a friend right before this snapshot, sent me past emotional overload. There wasn't room in my stressed out little brain to handle thinking through that possibility, so I cried. Rough day in Haley-land.

Pigeon Forge with Friends

A few weeks later, I decided that I needed to fast from journaling. I needed to stop overthinking dudes, and I needed to trust God to clear my mind. I was overwhelmed, & writing down my thoughts was obviously just furthering the process of overthinking. So I fasted, and when I wanted to journal, I prayed instead.
I came out on the other side empty.
The most incredible and freeing feeling of emptiness.

He lost a bet

Then like a tiny seed planted in my ear, was Tyler's name. Not by a friend, or acquaintance. Not even by my own self. Suddenly, I just knew it was something worth paying attention to. It wasn't something that overwhelmed me, or consumed me. It was just a peace. A very cool peace about being his friend. I didn't know where it would go, or how I would act. I didn't plan, for the first time in my life. I prayed that if anything more ever came of our friendship, God would give me in the moment discernment of what to say. Not long after that, he told me he had feelings for me. The feelings were mutual, and shortly after, we started dating. :) Not to be one of "those girls," but we're sitting at around 2 months now. & the strange peace I talked about before? It hasn't gone away. :) Plus, I kinda like him, a lot!

Beard Auction

You guys, God has been so faithful in my life. There is so much freedom, peace, and joy that I can barely contain it this semester. I've learned about trust, patience, and faith; in ways I never thought possible. His timing is good, always. I'm telling you, He is enough, always.

Man, life is crazy.

I've had an incredible semester so far you guys, but dang am I busy.
The journey I've embarked on with this counselor has led to some pretty mind blowing break throughs;
and I'm experiencing freedom in ways unimaginable.
I'm telling you all, it's CRAZY.
Good crazy though. :)
Speaking of that sweet lady, I'm meeting with her later on today, so pray that goes well!
The Lord definitely uses her as a voice of reason in my life.

SO, main reason I even logged on here is because I know a few random peeps check in on me every once in awhile, and I'm wanting to get the word out any way possible. Even to those of you who randomly stumble upon this page full of my heart and life, please help me out here. My sweet sweet little brother is in this contest, and it ends in two weeks. He NEEDS view to hit the top 10 and be viewed by the judges. There's a $25,000 prize riding on this, along with studio time in California! So get on your laptop, click this link, and WATCH WATCH WATCH! Some of the people have thousands or tens of thousands of points/views.. so we've got some catching up to do!

http://songwriter.revimage.com/channels/Cody+Jacobs

Thanks and love to you all! :)

Baptism

Just thought I'd share a few pictures. NOTHING is impossible for our God.

Cody Jon,
He's both of our God now. :)

Filled with thanksgiving!

Today I am in absolute awe of God's grace. How compassionate is He to have saved a sinner like ME! Three years ago today, He opened my eyes. Standing in a room, at a camp in Oklahoma. Surrounded by music and hundreds of other students- I'd fought the truth all week, waiting until the very last night. I answered the gentle yet consistent knocking at my heart,

and said yes.

"I will follow you."

I was in awe then too, just as I am today.

How immediately my eyes were opened to my dire need for a Savior!

Yet, I rebelled. Oh how I rebelled.

I was discouraged and confused, because I knew the truth. I knew the truth and it had given me such freedom, yet nobody understood! I was baffled that I had found the cure, and nobody else seemed interested in having if for themselves.

Suddenly I felt at war with the world around me.

I felt at war within myself.

So I chose rebellion. I chose sin.

I chose to run from God, so fresh and new in my faith, yet so quick to turn my back on Him. Praise God for never turning His back on me!

"If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot disown Himself."

I was faced with a choice: God, or the life I had left behind? I chose the life I had left behind, because it was "easier." Yet, I never really could be at peace with my old life again. No matter how I tried to justify how I lived, or smother out the truth from my soul. I was no longer the same- trying to squeeze my changed and reborn self into a mold which I no longer fit; into a mold I don't think I ever really fit.

You see, living in this world is kind of like wearing pants. (Awkward place to end the sentence- I'll explain, I promise.) Living in this world is like wearing pants. Really really really tight pants. The really really really tight pants that you've always worn. "That's just how it feels to wear pants," says she who has never worn the correct size.

But then there's that moment when your body slips into that pair of perfect pants.(If you're having trouble keeping up, God is the perfect pants.) And suddenly you're standing there like, "This is how pants are suppose to feel." It's a freeing feeling, let me tell you. You suddenly have the fresh thought of, "I'm suppose to be able to breathe in pants. I've been suffocating my entire life, because I didn't know what it felt like to breathe! I didn't even know breathing was an option, and I have never felt so at peace than in these perfectly fitting pants." So you buy them, obviously. Once your eyes are opened to the joy and peace that accompany wearing pants that actually fit, you COULD choose to not buy them.. but who in their right mind would do that? You walk out of the store, wearing your new pants, so excited.

"I can not WAIT to tell my friends and family about these pants. Surely they will all immediately rush to get a looser fitting pair for themselves. I want those I love to experience wearing pants that fit." You see your friend, immediately they're laughing at the ludicrous idea that one would wear pants of that sort. "I've always worn these pants, why would I change? They've worked for me so far." You're discouraged, but continue on; still in awe of these incredible pants. You tell your family, and they are closed off to the idea, all wearing their pants which leave them unable to breathe. "I'm so happy that you've found what works for you!" You want them to understand that the pants could work for them too.. what peace they would feel! But they are comfortable, and unwilling to change.

Your heart breaks.

Suddenly you notice all the people around you in tight pants, and you hurt for them in a way never before. You no longer belong, and it becomes more and more apparent with every passing day. You see their brokenness, and you understand that their eyes are closed to the truth! Finally, the aching of your heart becomes too much to bear. Yet, your perfect pants continue on in their perfection. They never become less perfect, but they do make you stick out in a crowd. They sometimes cause people to ridicule you, and that's never fun. You think to yourself,

"Maybe it would be easier to just wear pants which are too tight. Life seemed easier then. "So you put your perfect pants into the back of the closet, and once again struggle into your old pants.

Suddenly you're very aware that the pants don't fit. They'll never fit, no matter how long you wear them.

That's where I found myself for about a year after accepting Christ. Trying, without success, to adjust once again to my old pants. Praise God for never letting me be comfortable in them. He brought me to Tennessee Tech, where I met others who knew that the pants we were born into were the wrong size. Surrounded by them, it became impossible to believe the lies of the world any longer. I threw off my old pants, and pray that I will never try squeezing into them again. :)

If you're reading this and have never accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior,

I pray that you'll ask Him to reveal Himself to you.

Jeremiah 29:13 says, "You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart!"

He wants you to know the joy of being at peace. If you feel like you've spent your whole life wearing pants the wrong size, take a second to ask yourself if you want more. Seek, and you will find!

Jesus told stories a lot, called parables.

We will call this one, Parable of the Perfect Pants.

I love you all so much, and I so badly want you to experience perfect pants.

& to those who spent years speaking truth into my life, even when I was unwilling to listen, THANK YOU!

Your words still impact me to this day.

Forever grateful for the Lord's grace and the people He uses,

-Hales

Because sometimes you just need extra blue things in your life..

:)

Cody Jon

He's always been my favorite.
https://soundcloud.com/haley-jacobs-1/codys-song-May 2011/preparing to leave my best friend in the world.
My precious little brother-the one you all surely have heard me ramble about for my entire life.. gave his life to Christ a few months back! SUCH an answer to prayer. Anywho, God has been heavily at work in his life since he's been sober and saved. ;) He just returned from a mission trip to Canada where he was a camp counselor, and has agreed to do a guest post here on my blog in the next week or so, where he'll talk about his testimony and all the Lord's been doing! So get excited for that!!

Is he adorable or what? I don't think I've ever seen such genuine JOY on his face. :)

"He said I am the Lord. the God of mankind;

is anything too hard for me?

Yes, I have the power to make Prim Rose walk,

or to make your brother see.

Is anything too hard for me?

Haley, don't just give me your heart.

Give me all of your fears.

The former things will pass away,

and I'll wipe away tears!"

:)-July 2012

https://soundcloud.com/haley-jacobs-1/come-to-the-waters songlink.

Blogging because..

I've journaled a frightening amount of 30 pages, front and back.. in the past 7 days. That's 60 pages of my thoughts you guys..and terrifying. I keep thinking, eventually I have to run out of things to write about, right? Wrong. I've already breezed through 4 pages, and it isn't even 10am yet. Here at work, it's just me and my wandering mind. Sometimes, I'm blessed enough to be interrupted by a ringing phone.. Hence, I'm giving my poor little journal a break, and quenching my thirst to write elsewhere; lest I fill an entire journal in a single month. (Not that it hasn't happened before.)

I've been listening to this song a lot lately.

It came on my Pandora worship station a month or so ago, and I've been hooked ever since.

The times you doubt me, when you can't feel.

The times that you question, "Is this for real?"

The times you're broken, the times that you mend.

The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.

Well my love is over, it's underneath.

It's inside, it's in between.

These times that you're healing, and when your heart breaks.

The times that you feel like you've fallen from grace.

The times you're hurting, the times that you heal.

The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.

The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.

I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.

I'm there through your heartache. I'm there in the storm.

My love will keep you, by my power alone.

I don't care where you fall, where you have been.

I'll never forsake you, my love never ends.

It never ends.

Here's another little encouragement for you guys from the book, "Jesus Calling."

"Relax in my peaceful presence. Do not bring performance pressures into our sacred space of communion. When you are with someone you trust completely, you feel free to be yourself. This is one of the joys of true friendship. Though I am the Lord of lords and King of kings, I also desire to be your intimate Friend. When you are tense or pretentious in our relationship, I feel hurt. I know the worst about you, but I also see the best in you. I long for you to trust me enough to be fully yourself with me. When you are real with me, I am able to bring out the best in you: the very gifts I have planted in your soul. Relax, and enjoy our friendship."

When I read that this morning, I felt both comforted and convicted. How often do we seek intimate friendship here on Earth, thinking it can bring a form of satisfaction that Christ can not? I know I'm more than involved in that guilty party. I found incredible comfort though, at the realization that He wants to know me intimately. It's within our human nature, especially us women, to desire deep and intimate friendship. I want it, and I want it bad. Good news is, He just as badly wants to give it to me. I want to see Him, to sit close with Him, to have Him look straight into my eyes and know the deepest parts of who I am- all the while staring back into His eyes, amazed. But I can't- not in the traditional sense at least. It's our natural tendency to seek after something we can see.

Something tangible.

Though it takes more intentionality, I'm having to learn that God wants to be seen by me. He wants to take my breath away, and smile at my awed reaction. He shows Himself to me daily, through the wind in the trees or the color of the sky. He meets me closely, sits with me, as I'm driving in the car talking to Him like a mad woman. And all the while, He's looking not just into my eyes, but straight into my soul, knowing me more deeply or intimately than humanly possible. I can bare my soul to Christ without even having to try, so I wonder what levels of joy and peace can be found when I AM intentional in my transparency towards Him? I want to be truly known, and He wants to know me. Oh the irony in our human struggles. All the things we long for, he has the ability to give in their purest form! We're a doubtful and unbelieving people.

So God, this is me saying that I do believe.

I believe you are the ultimate Friend.

I believe you are the ultimate Healer. 

I believe you are the ultimate Comforter.

"I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"(Mark 9:24)

Until next time,

-Hales

Treat.

Blue nails and avocado for lunch.

Some of the best pick-me-ups in existence,
and sure to result in a beautiful happy day. :)


Avocados are an all time favorite of mine;
definitely making it into my top 10..
in no specific order..
can't live without..
FOODS!

-apples
-grilled chicken
-African whole grain toast (unfortunately must try and live without)
-peanut butter
-honey
-oatmeal
-avocados
-hummus
-bell peppers
-yogurt

Mmmm, mmmm, mmmmmmmmmm.

Now that you all know this oh so important information about my day and favorite foods, you can return to your life as usual, and have a terrific Tuesday.

-Hales



Oh and check out my best friend's blog! This post is so spot on.
A great reminder for those "messy times" we experience in life.
http://ashonthejourney.blogspot.com/2013/06/isaiah-648.html?showComment=1373403666672#c4038214376675293679
She is such a gem. <3

Been M.I.A. far too long.

Words- like droplets of water fill my thoughts. Accumulating into a disarray of emotion, until my mind is flooding. Like all things flooded, the result is overflow. BURSTING from the crevices of my mind, and spilling onto paper.

My words tell a story which my mind never could;

placing each droplet precisely where it should-

Go- it's all my thoughts do.

     Never stopping

          or pausing

               they simply accrue.

Pencil hits paper, and I've discovered the true meaning of release.

I desire to write for the same reason that one drowning desires to breathe;

because it is needed, undeserved but life-giving.

Writing has never been an option, but rather a way of living.

Always struggling to find the words that meet my need;

yet in the end, the words were what found me.

   

     My summer so far has been like nothing I could have ever imagined. I've been a BUSY bee! I'm working 20 hours a week between 8 and 4:30, babysitting my favorite little ones a few days each week, going to bible studies, hosting open houses at the bcm, and making some really incredible new friends. I'm going to a bible study that my sweet apartment complex neighbor leads on Friday mornings, and driving straight from there to yoga at the BCM. I spent a few weeks getting little to no sleep, watching sunrises at Bee Rock, or talking for hours upon end. I then became very sick with a horrible cough.. probably because I wasn't sleeping.. and lost my voice for two weeks! Who would have thought a summer could be so jam packed? Only I'm capabable of that. In high school, I was never involved in anything, because of fear. I think I now fear there being anything in existance that I'm not involved in. It seems I've gone from one extreme to another. I can be so black and white in my thinking.

     I've found a counselor here in Cookeville, and we've been talking through some really interesting things. As you may know, my eating disorder was my main motivation for seeking help. We have been focusing in on my OCD a lot more though, as it seems to be the root of all evil. :P
     I've been thrown a few curve balls so far this summer, and you would think I would just expect them at this point in my life. It never fails though, things always catch me off guard and take me by  surprise. Why do I still expect God to teach me things that I think He will? Why do I even try guessing what He's going to do in my life next.. haha.

    I'm learning that the more time that passes, the more I love people in their brokenness. I ache for them, and desire to see them healed! I suppose that's a good thing, considering I want to go into children's counseling. It's a tough thing though, because it can easily cause me to carry burdens I shouldn't. I just really love people, and that's not a statement I ever would have thought I could honestly say. I love their brokenness, their quirks, and hearing their hearts and their stories. I love connecting the dots between their childhoods and their struggles. I don't ever want to be in a place where people and their problems are projects to be repaired. I just want to love people.

     Now here's the tricky part- I have to learn to not feel responsible for other people's hurt. (I do, I always do.) I have to learn how to trust God with the people I love. (I don't, I really don't.) & I have to be humble enough to realize that my hands are not the most capable ones for them to be in, because I don't have within me the divine power to heal hurts. (God does though..) If I allow myself to be "that person", it's likely they'll come to me before God, and that's definitely not a situation I want myself or my sweet friends to be in. Obviously it's never my desire to practice or encourage idolatry. (Though I am quite sure I often do both.) Of course I like to feel "needed", but I have to accept that I am not God.. duh. Of course I like to feel that I have a "purpose," (I do have a purpose.) but it is to bring glory to God.. not myself.

    So here's to loving people enough to place them in God's hands. Here's to my brother, roommates, girls I disciple, best friend Ashley, and unsaved friends. Here's to my parents, grandparents, cousins, and family who is lost. Here's to my once second family, teachers, and Zimbabwean children. My friends old and new. Here's to loving my people and letting them go; knowing God always picks up where I'm lacking. It's a hard but important lesson to learn, lest my heart break in the process of trying to love in the future. Trust God. Trust God. Trust God.

-Hales

Bee Rock, June 11, 2013

Peanut butter..

Is so good, and one of my favorite things.
But I've never understood why the "natural" kind has sugar written in the ingredients..
I mean, I guess sugar is natural?  But it isn't peanuts. It's sugar.
SO, I have taken matters into my own hands.
Bought peanuts, stuck them in my blender, and look what the result was:
PEANUT BUTTER!
Ingredients: Peanuts.. just plain ol' peanuts.

:)Dad made peanut butter with us when we were younger, and it was just as easy as I remembered!
I will never do peanut butter the same again,
Unless I become incredibly lazy.. which is a possibility.

Today

Is grocery shopping day!
And that means my lunch must be thrown together from all the random things leftover from cooking this week- that way I don't end up with a fridge full of rotten veggies.
Result=delicious.
Baked cucumber chips, and I suppose we can call the other thing.. taco soup?
Kidney beans, corn, fat free plain yogurt, a tomato, red/yellow/orange baby bell peppers, and a sprinkle of taco seasoning/splash of hot sauce.
I'm 99% sure that nobody cares about what I eat.. but I enjoy talking about it anyways.
I mean, it's my blog right?
I also went to the Cookeville Farmer's Market for the first time this morning with my friend Amy, where I found some delicious honey and fresh blueberries. I made these yummy muffins for breakfast! Just used a tbsp of honey, a bit of whole wheat flower, some blueberries, and an egg.  SO GOOD. Mix it all together, pour into mini muffin pan, and you get sweet-grainy-fruity-protein filled deliciousness.
:)
-Hales

Food is so interesting..

Tilapia with red, yellow and orange peppers.
Good for my body and my crazy mind.
Not to mention, delicious.
:)

I'm going to eat, sleep, and breathe these words.

John 8:32

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

That is all.

As Emmy would say, Oh my yummy!

Nom Nom Nom.
This is my breakfast lately, and it is delish.
-2 handfulls of spinach leaves
-An apple
-A banana
-1/4 cup vanilla nonfat yogurt
-And in honor of my best friend Ashley.. for my first time.. a handful of good ol' kale!

Smoothies are my favorite!:)

Breaking Free.

Don't you hate it when realizations smack you in the face?

Well, in a sick way, I kinda anticipate it.

I pray for them. I BEG for them.

*God reveal to me where I am broken.*

Usually He replies with, "Hales, you are broken in every way imaginable."

Me: "Crap."

I always want specifics.

I want Him to point out ONE major thing that I can begin working on.

"Show me what I need to fix about myself God, and I'll do it.

I am a do-er. Just tell me, clearly, and I'll get right on it God!"

Hopefully everyone reading this is quickly realizing my BIG flaw..

and hopefully it didn't take you as long as it took me.

"ME,ME,ME. Let me DO! I am self-sufficent. Just give me instructions God..and I'll take it from there. Not really sure if you can be trusted with the "doing" part of things, God. That's my forte. You plan, I'll do. And I'll plan too. Heck, why don't I just plan myself, and then do everything all by myself. I'll give you all the glory though, and do it in your name, God, don't worry."

I know God's probably up in heaven like,
"Hales, I don't want the crappin' glory for whatever that is you are doing down there. You are a hot mess right now. Your plans are going to crash and burn, like every other time. So please Haley, don't even try saying that I had anything to do with it. Your search for freedom is a futile one, because it's all wrapped up in your pride. Your freedom journey should be so infused with Me that you don't even have room left to worry about you. Let me plan, and let me do. GIVE IT UP, and then we will talk about Me being glorified."

Okay so I don't know that crappin' or hot mess are in God's vocabulary, but try to stick with me here.

I don't know what I'm doing. I really don't. I have tried, and fought, and sought, and done for so long.

My faith is small, which results in my prayer life slacking. My pride is large, which seems to contradict my self-esteem which is lacking. I am broken- into so many pieces that often I think, "it's beyond repair."

I don't know what from my past I have left to work through, or why it impacts me in ways that I can't put my finger on. I am broken. Truth. We are all broken. The more important truth is that we serve a God who is not. Actually, we serve a God who is Healer of all things broken.

I've been going through this Bible study called "Breaking Free," and I realized something. I have this huge fear of being fooled. I always knew that I feared being proven weak- but fooled? That's a new one. I know why, but I suppose I never realized how much of an underlying issue it still is in my life. What really shocked me is the fact that it has carried over into my relationship with THE Father. I always knew that daddy issues supposedly carried over into our relationships with the heavenly father.. but mine are all "fixed." My relationship with my dad is awesome, and my childhood hurts were largely due to my lack of maturing and ability to understand. Plain and simple: dad's aren't perfect, and I was too young to understand that. In my mind, my dad was the absolute definition of perfect. When perfection was shattered, I think I developed a fear of ever being fooled again.

Even by God.

I don't want to later be disappointed when He doesn't come through, like I fully believed He always would.

You see, humans, without a doubt, will fail us. They will let us down, eventually.

My dad has actually said that to me before. Something along the lines of:

"Haley, I love you, but eventually I will let you down. I'm not perfect, and I'm sorry for that.
I will always do my best, but I will inevitably let you down at some point or another. I'm sorry in advanced."

I have a pretty great dad. I highly esteem him. All of the things that he tells me, I believe to be true.

Yet, I seem to have developed this hard outer shell, because as a child I was hurt.
As a twelve year old child, I realized I had been "fooled." (For my own good, I assure you.)

Deep down, I never want to be fooled again.
If my expectations of God are small, He can always meet them.

BUT, if my expectations of God are high, or heaven forbid, PERFECTION?

Well, then I'm just setting myself up to be duped all over again.

To be a disappointed little girl who was fooled all along.

I have issues, I know. This is me working through them. ;)

ANYWHO-about that book I'm going through.

I started putting together a lot of the pieces of my childhood, and my refusal to ever be fooled again.

To be tricked.

"I am no fool."

Then I read this scripture, which I'm sure I've read a million times before..
it suddenly clicked:

2 Corinthians 2:11a

"In order that Satan might not outwit us.."

You guys, I'm going to admit something that is difficult for me.

It's true. I've been fooled. I've been tricked. Duped. Outwitted.

I've been outwitted by the enemy, for far too long.

My God, is incredibly powerful.

My God, can (and desires to) do immeasurably more in my life.

My God, can (and is willing to) heal me.

Completely.

For years, I've been outwitted.

But listen to the second part of that verse.

2 Corinthians 2:11b

"FOR WE ARE NOT UNAWARE OF HIS SCHEMES."

Oh boy. Hah, I can't help but feel a little mischievous in reading that.

Like,

"Suck it Satan, I know what you're up to! I am NOT unaware."

Why don't I direct my suspicions on the rightful owner, the enemy.

I was let down by my father, not because of Christ working in him,

but by the enemy trying to take him captive.

My dad is a loving, Godly man,

but just like me, was fighting daily for his freedom!

1 Peter 5:8 says,

"Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion,

looking for someone to devour."

I fear being weak, vulnrable, fooled, or submissive.

Well dang, looks like I've spent most of my life being all of those things.. just towards the wrong people!

When I am weak, HE is strong. But I can't be weak towards the enemy.

When I am vulnrable, HE shines through! But when I am weak towards the enemy, I can be devoured.
I refuse to be fooled by the Lord, though He is not capable of fooling. It is literally not in His nature.
Yet I have listened to the author of lies, and allowed him to fill me with doubt and uncertainty.

I can not allow myself to be fooled by the enemy.

I have quickly submitted to a porcelain god, made beautiful by the lies of the deciever.

But I fear submitting to the Holy God of all mankind?

He who loves me, died for me, sent His own son for me, has forgiven me, has great plans for me, carries me,

and can ultimately heal me.
I don't think it's safe to submit to That Guy?

Man you guys, I've been duped.

John 8:32

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."


Here's to refusing to be fooled,
by the guy who is the author of lies.
:) Because I am not unaware of his schemes.

Hales.
Daughter of the Most High King.